OK, before I lose enthusiasm about this, I wanted to put it out there… I’m down 10 lbs since the re-boot. What I notice? Within seconds of doing the happy dance, I hear, “but you’ve lost this before…you have so much more to go.”
Maybe you’re acquainted by said voice. You know, the one who judges? She lives inside your head ready to chime in at any point. But I’m not listening. I’m just nodding and moving forward.
I went back to read a previous post about self-recrimination. If you haven’t checked that out, and you have the same lil’ voices playing in your head, I urge you to read it.
Lately I’ve been dealing with a shoulder injury that has had me pretty cranky. I’m doing physical therapy a few times a week, and it’s definitely improving, but it’s been limiting how much I can physically do with ease. I wish I had a great story about how it happened. I was just reaching for something one day and bam, I felt my shoulder move out of wack and then a constant pain. The only good news here? One of the things my physical therapist told me to do is to be more aware of posture and essentially standing in the supergirl pose. It’s amazing how the energy flows when you do it.
This week also brought some additional annoyances.
Minor Annoyance #1…I recently changed over to a new web host. If you’re not all up on what goes on behind the scenes of websites, a host is the big server in the sky that holds your site. I was convinced by their astounding personal customer service, and cost. Cut to waking up this morning to find out this very company was at the center of a firestorm regarding malware in some of their products. Fortunately, it’s not ultimately going to affect my site, but it will mean a change of host. I won’t bore you with the details, but it did cause a bit of a tailspin and was pretty distracting. What got me was I was literally about to sing their praises. They had even asked if I’d post about them on social media. Damn, you guys were so nice…and then wow. Really deceptive it turns out.
Minor annoyance #2….This one is also on the digital front. The company that was handling the cookbook sales failed to email updates to some customers who had already purchased previous versions of the book. If you are in this camp, please do get in touch and I will make sure you get your copy. I’ve since changed the way we do it, and all should go better now.
Minor Annoyance #3 …Last night I had meetings scheduled for work. My first meeting kept me waiting over 30 minutes in a busy hotel lobby. Turns out assistants got wires crossed and while I was waiting downstairs, they were waiting in the rooftop bar. The meeting happened, but it lasted only 10 minutes because I had to run to my next meeting which was 11 blocks away during rush hour-so I decided to walk/run it. I wasn’t going to be late because my colleagues were late for me. As I hustled the half mile, instead of grinding too much, I decided this was a good thing because I got a good half mile of brisk walking. Walking versus whining just seemed more productive.
Minor Annoyance #4…I belong to a Hashimoto’s page on social media. A newly diagnosed member asked for advice and I chimed in, mentioning what is working for me, one of the mentions was about immediately changing her diet. Another member decided to take me on saying there is no correlation between changing diet and improving symptoms. Just plug me into the wall socket! I replied a few times providing sources and finally just told the new member who was asking advice, to private message me. I wasn’t going to get into a war with some misinformed anonymous human. I just felt bad for the person who wanted advice. She witnessed a bit of a tennis match.
These are truly first world problems, right? But often these little annoyances start to make me feel like nothing is going right, eating away at my self-esteem which in turn feels like things are out of control, which often leads to not taking care of myself, or not caring about keeping my promises to myself. This is what caused me to slowly veer off my commitment to myself several months ago.
I could dwell on the fact I’ve gained and lost this 10 lbs before. I could let the little annoyances justify me not caring or feeling out of control. It is indeed a choice to keep moving forward.
It took me awhile to fully surrender to being solid on the plan again. What made the difference was pushing forward through the weak moments or the annoyances, and distracting myself with activities that are in line with the goal.
Tonight for instance, besides getting this post done? I made another batch of Awesome Sauce. Now there will be 11 quarts sitting in the pantry read to go. I never thought I’d get into canning, but here I am, in the 1835 farmhouse, making a big ol’ pot.
I hope your week is going well. Tomorrow it’s onto more physical therapy, and I will attempt some yard work at the ol’ farmhouse, perhaps working out a little more angst Thanks for listening.
**UPDATE: I read this quote today and wanted to share….